Lil' Kim, is that you?

Looks like Lil' Kim has a lil' bit of eplaining to do as to her recent appearance at Marc Jacobs' fashion show. Has she been eatin a lil' too much or has she just had a lil' too much plastic surgery?

Desperate Housedude gets his arse WHOOPED!

So the infamous gardner from Desperate Housewives Jesse Metcalfe was out and about in LA last night. During his stop at hotspot Boulevard 3 he sparked up convo with Hustle and Flow Ho Taryn Manning. Apparently her male "friend", a random British guy and aspiring rapper, wasn't happy and proceeded to kick Jesse's butt! It got caught on tape! What luck?! Word on the street is that Jesse went back in and continued the brawl with the random. We hope you didn't damage that pretty lil face of yours Jesse, it's all you've got going for you! By the way, does anyone know if he's realated to Laurie Metcalfe from Roseanne?

Hey Paula! Don't Quit Your Day Job!

Yikes - when we heard that Paula Abdul was performing at the Superbowl we were curious. When we heard that Paula would be performing her new single "Get Up and Dance" we were disappointed (no Straight-Up? No Cold Hearted?). When we heard that Paula would be pre-taping the show and lip-syncing the performance we were disgusted.

But nothing could have prepared us for what we saw. It was so fake and boring that we could literally see Simon dying. This woman critiques thousands of performers a year and is supposed to be aiding in the search for a new superstar?? The song sounds like a song Miley Ray Cyrus threw in the trash. Her outfit looks like a rejected costume from her video with the cartoon cat....and she doesn't even dance like she used to?! At least we know what kept Paula away from performing for all these years - she can't.

Really. What was she thinking?? Here it is in its mediocrity...ooops - we meant entirety.

Lenny's daughter and her hair

We LOVE Lenny Kravitz. How can you not? It pains me to post this pic but it is necessary. His daughter is seen here with her boyfriend, actor Ben Foster. What is going on with her hair? I am sorry but this is unacceptable. We have all had bad hairs days and for those of us with a coarser texture it can be challenging, but this is ridiculous. Lil' Kravitz you are entirely too cute and wealthy to have this look.

Britney Spears Needs To Go Away!

Just when you thought that the madness of Britney Spears had climaxed in 2007, she opens up the new year with a new scandal. She went ballistic last night and reportedly held her own son hostage and had to be hospitalized. We love to make fun of stars and their shenanigans but this is now akin to beating up a blind, deaf, semi-retarded hooker!

The fact of the matter is that Britney needs to go away from L.A. and the spotlight and get some help. Let K-Fed be Mr. Mom and let Britney get it together. It's just sickening to see a completely insane woman out of control be hounded by the world.

We now, sadly, must agree with that freakish YouTube post by the crazed Britney fan who declared "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE"! This girl will most certainly end up like Anna Nicole Smith if someone doesn't have her committed and get her in a hospital.

Mischa Barton Arrested for DUI

Another week, another DUI by a celebrity. Mischa Barton, the former O.C. actress was popped in Los Angeles early Thursday morning and charged with DUI, possession of illegal narcotics and driving without a valid California license.

Welcome to the T.W. (train wreck), bitch! Oh, and while you're here, make sure to go to rehab, have an angry run-in with the papparazzi, have a secret sex tape exposed, then get pregnant and do a teary-eyed interview with Barbara Walters about how you found Jesus and your trip will be complete!

It's so predictible it's almost not even worth reporting, almost!

If only we could all have a sister like Britney...

So People mag has broken the news that Miss Jaime-Lynn Spears is pregnant. Yes, Brit Jr. is 16 and expecting. Is this what watching your sister spiral into complete and utter insanity in a matter of 12 months does to a young lady? Is she desperate to carry on the family tradition? Perhaps she is trying to avoid Ashlee Simpson-itis or even Solange-ania? Well Miss J-L I'm sure you'll be wishing you had taken the nose job or marriage to a man-child when you loose that PHAT Nickelodeon contract and end up shaving your head and banging an umbrella into an SUV, just trying to figure out what the hell happened. All jokes aside best of luck to you, we hope that you are able to stay on the right path. One word of advice - don't start hanging out with the little Kardashian sisters!!

You want a "piece" of Britney? Neither do we..

Word to Britney - if your heart isn't in it then please let it go! It's clear from your latest video that you don't even want try to dance so take the money and run to Texas and take your babies. Go live in hick-heaven and settle down. By the way - the weave looks good!

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